Saturday, December 31, 2005

Blog-naming Contest

Calling all creative friends o' Ron: I need your help.

I am in the midst of a project setting up a Worship Resource blog for the Presbyterian Church. It will be a "collaborative collection of resources and commentary for those who plan and lead Christian worship." Before we can go further, we need to decide on a name.

The committee in charge have had some good discussions about titles, but the majority of them are rather, well, blah. Boring. Blandly descriptive -- like the stuff that comes after the colon in a dissertation title. For example: "WorshipResources." Or "Worship4Life." Or "ResourcesforWorshipPraxis."

What I think we need is a name that's got a little pique, a little zazz, a little - how do you say - je ne sais quoi. Brainstorms in that direction have yielded a couple obscure options: "Plucking Heads of Grain," "HolyThings," "From Ur to There," and "WikiOrdo."

These aren't bad, but they're not so good, either. The lead name at this point is "WorshipHelps" -- which has some interesting complexity of meaning. And yet...

I suspect that the right folks can rise to the challenge of coming up with a name that splits the difference between sexy and soporific. I know if any group on the planet can come up with good stuff, it's all of you. All suggestions welcome!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Christmas Songs that Never Caught On

From a good friend of mine, Todd Kleinhuizen, comes this hilarious holiday list...


It is once again the holiday season. The airs of familiar Christmas carols and songs waft through our homes and the store aisles From time to time, a new tune breaks out and takes its place among the old favorites, but hundreds of others have fallen upon the holiday scrap heap, dumped along with the ribbons, bows, broken tree lights and uneaten fruitcakes. Here are a few of those titles:

“The Second Noel” This blatant attempt to capitalize on the popular original with a lame sequel rightly fell flat.

“Reindeer Droppings On The Roof” Although this was a cute story song in the tradition of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” and “Rudolph,” the mild scatological reference proved off-putting and the song failed. Its signature line: “Plop, plop, plop go the reindeer droppings on the roof/ hear the plop-ploppings midst the clip-clop clopping little hooves.” CBS wouldn’t touch the proposed clay-mation special.

“The Twelve Gauge of Christmas” There was simply too much cold steel and not enough warm fuzzy in this misguided NRA effort to bring firearms into the glow of the Yuletide season with a twist on the familiar “Twelve Days of Christmas”. Similarly ill-fated was “Billy’s Christmas Glock.”

“No Fur In My Stocking, Santa!” Nobody wants an angry Christmas protest song, so this PETA offering had about as much chance as the Christmas goose. PETA has now focused instead on promoting versions of the more established “Friendly Beasts” as its holiday anthem for animal rights awareness.

“The Nog’n Toboggan’” The B-52’s laid this egg in the wake of their “Love Shack” success more than a decade ago; alas, the Egg Nog reference was largely lost on the young target audience, most of whom also said, “it doesn’t have a good beat and you can’t really dance to it.”

“Break Forth Oh Christmas Wind” The writer of this lovely song and lyric had his heart in the right place, so much so, however, that he failed to note the obvious flatulence double entendre in his song. He died an embittered man in a Schenectady nursing home in 1973.

“Angels ‘n Elves Sing Noel” Focus on the Family and other Christian groups quickly squelched this attempt to meld secular and religious Christmas traditions in song. This casualty of the culture wars will likely not be sorely missed. A sample lyric:

There’s a spot in Santa’s sleigh for a manger and some hay
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho in excelsis De – O –O!

“Hot Haggis Christmas Morn” This ill-conceived offering had no chance. First, not that many people in this country know what “haggis” is. Second, those who know what haggis is and might somehow otherwise think fondly of it would be hard-pressed to imagine eating it before noon, much less first thing Christmas morning. A truly “offal” song.

“Ain’t No Chimney On My Double – Wide (A Trailer Park Christmas)" This country number just didn’t conjure up the kind of Currier & Ives images that folks favor during the holidays.

“Something Smells Like Christmas” Smell, for some reason, is not among the senses that people are eager to memorialize in song. While there are surely many pleasant smells to associate with the Christmas season, somehow the phrase “something smells” just never leads to a happy place. So, “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas,” yes; “Something Smells Like Christmas”; no.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

From the Archives

I don't know if anyone noticed, a few days ago I changed the little icon that shows up when you access this page from the generic "blogger" icon (what is this called anyway) to one unique to Theologiggle.

I have the one that appears in your browser (you could call this the ruminant-derriere or "rumierre" for short) and I also have this one below from my old computer backup CDs. This was after the Riestra's time, but I'll give you one guess whose head this depicts.

As I recall this became the show logo that year and we even made t-shirts out of it. I had some other files from the show, unfortunately in PageMaker 5 format.

Anyway, we should vote on whether to use the "rumierre" or "combover" icon, let me know what you think.